Monday, January 31, 2011

Hot dogs, on a spool

You must be mistaken
red headed young lassie
you got the dates wrong
from your mommy and daddy

You're two days past due
the 31st is much later
then when I first saw you
in that pink incubator

So go tell your brother
our Sonoran-like cook
he can look it all up
in his chemical books

And tell your plump sister
expecting and dizzy
baby T got it wrong
well, we know she's been busy

Your birthday's been ended
two days it's been past us
the baloons are all popped
shrunken and gas-less

but it was fun one, out here in Florida
we had a big cake, a big chocolate torte one
we sang happy birthday and jumped in the pool
and ate birthday bird hot dogs, right from the spool

Happy Birthday Meg!


*****

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Citronella


Dad's favorite fishing hole could have been drawn by EH Shepard, the artist who imagined scenes, in pen, for Wind in the Willows - and sketched the dreams of the Hundred Acre Woods.

His hidden place was just off a one-lane asphalt road in Indiana, past some waist-high weeds and down a rocky hill. From the top of the hill, the sound of rushing water could be heard. At the bottom, rusty corrugated pipe gushed water from the lake on the other side of the road.

He called it "the channel."



At the bottom of the hill, eddies and swirls formed as the water sluiced through the pipe - clear, cold, and a kind of slate blue. It frothed and swam around the yellow and green algae streamers that slimed the giant rocks below the pipe.

There we'd stand, on those rocks, staring down the narrow creek as it twisted into the distance. A misty spray would rise from the crashing water; with an earthy, wet smell. Waves of tall, sharp grass – and sometimes corn – could be seen on the hill atop the curving banks.

"You can catch anything here." My father would sometimes shout to be heard above the sound of the water. "This is where they caught that dogfish." Dogfish? Eyes widened, we'd stare into the waters and wonder if we had fishing line that was strong enough to land one of these mysterious monsters.

Sometimes we only had a bamboo cane pole from my grandfather's rusty Sears shed near the lake. Sometimes Zebcos. But it didn't matter. Dad was there.

In the humid cove, surrounded by weeds and willow trees, the mosquitoes were especially bad.  But in his metal tackle box, my father had a brown glass bottle that he cherished as much as any lure. It sat among his purple plastic worms and cellophane packages of pre-tied hooks. I remember the label on the bottle - still partially readable.

It was from Monterey Pharmacy, and printed under its telephone number (Hilltop 5-9555) in typewriter letters, was the word "Citronella."

Oh, Citronella. Not the lightly-scented stuff found today in backyard candles. It was the real deal, 99.9% pure and probably illegal today. It smelled like something from an organic chemistry class – like lemons and herbs and rich oil. A drop of it filled the room with a smell unlike any other.

The other accoutremonts in his tackle box were often smeared with the oily insect repellant. Among them were beautifully painted lures, plastic frogs, dried meal worms, and empty packages of pipe tobacco.

In the channel, the water moved from the pipe into a small creek, passing under hanging willow branches and overgrown weeds and grasses. And of course, the biggest and most unusual fish always lurked under those branches, occasionally jumping - but rarely biting anything cast their way.

But with our Zebcos and cane poles, we tried. And, almost always (and unsurprisingly), our hooks and bobbers and Rapalas would get caught in the branches, in tangled monofilament messes. Then, my father would reel in his own rig and we’d push our poles into his hands. He’d pull and tug and twist - anything to get us free. More often than not, the line would snap.

Dad would then sit on a rock, smoking his pipe, and work to untangle what was left of our lines. Then, he’d reach into his metal green tackle box for another plastic worm or new hook, likely knowing it would never be seen again.

As we watched, the citronella rubbed into his hairy forearms smelled like a burning candle in the summer sun. Then we’d cast again - and try for the big one under those same wispy branches. 

My father would eventually return to his own fishing pole and make a few short casts. Maybe one or two, before he'd hear his name called again.

Dad's secret fishing hole. Each time we went there, we believed in the mysterious possibilities of its unknown depths.

How many times would my father tie one of his most expensive lures on our line, then point across the channel, and whisper, "Did you see that? Cast over there, where that bass jumped!" We'd cast and wait for something amazing.

Every once in awhile on those summer afternoons, he'd help us catch a sunfish or a crappie. But more often than not, we'd climb back up the hill with our nightcrawlers, now wilted like losing lottery tickets. 

"I think we should come back tonight right before it gets dark," he would offer, as we trudged along.  "That's when the really giant catfish come out.  At the bait shop, they told me they caught a fifty pound steelhead here last summer."  The disappointment would melt away, and we'd plan our return that night, arguing about how we'd pull the monster out of the water when we caught him.

I think of dad every day. He taught us special things in his little fishing hole. Hope, selflessness, mystery, possibility, and determination. I'd like to believe he's still here, untangling our lines, tying on his favorite lures, and reminding us to cast where the big fish jump.

And when the mosquitos inevitably arrive, he'll reach into his tackle box and pull out his timeless bottle of Citronella, with it's wonderful, special smell.

The smell of summer. Of fishing. And of my father.

And sweet, sweet memories.

Thanks dad. We miss you.


*****

Friday, January 14, 2011

Summerfling

The feeling comes in summer
in the months of fall forestalled
stretching sunflowers, reaching grass
softserve and softball

An insistence, an impatience
pleading to be known
lingering in the background
tricking self control

Birthday months and bicycles
back to back, downhill
climbing in the maple trees
longings to be fufilled

One-piece shirts, ponytails
Miss Piggy, Mister Henson
coppertone and coolers
celestial firework sessions

Pink tu-tus and batman
garden parties, princess tea
minivans and bike seat rides
scrapbooked memories

Monuments to grizzly bears
cherry-dipped ice cream cones
climbing plaza pedestals
watching trains come home

Sandbox worlds and cicada sounds
collecting blue jay feathers
slip'n slides and fresh cut grass
afternoons to last forever

Bible schools, vacations
discovered garage sale things
Little leagues, camping trips
An equinox of summer flings

Now visage and foundation
lay dappled in sun and shade
an elixir of memories
of endless summer days


*****

Monday, January 10, 2011

The Midwinter Jicker - Atlanta

"It's the midwinter jicker!" she screamed from her cube
"It's on CNN and all over the tube,
I'm worried and scared, scared for my family
and I know I can't make it home in my Camry!

"And poor me in my dress (short sleeves and lace)
it's the ice age in Windward!"
she cried, in her shared working space

I should have listened to old son Al Gore
our own southern prophet,
he warned us before

"now 75's frozen," she mumbled and shivered
"A thick permafrost,
an ice concrete river

If we can't escape
the artic blast weather
we'll camp out downstairs
by the robots together

"And maybe we'll find, in one of those drawers
a Snickers, a Reeses or maybe a Smores
We can scavenge for bottles if we need them tomorrow
in the displays, the dextrose and water

"If the cold settles in,
in through the vents
we'll use the work banner and make us some tents

then we'll hold hands
and wait out the storm
working on Siebel as we try to keep warm

"We'll break open the boxes of HBO chocolates
and use the hand cleaner
like HR has taught us

and all through the peril
we'll remember we're mortal

While we spend time 
on the new sales portal 

*****

Sunday, January 9, 2011

New Year's Menu

If you like burritos,
might I suggest
get a big
puffy
goose down vest

it'll make you thin
and almost wispy

so get them ones
that're fried and crispy

And don't feel bad
if you thunk it
eat the doughnut
once you dunk it
you'll lose the battle

against your will
so get you six

of them jelly filled

And here's a word

for that Chiang Kai Shek
get the egg rolls

what the heck
after all

you can't go wrong -
them Chinese people

live so long

What was that
I heard you mutter?
of course we're having
peanut butter
it's full of protein

which helps us all
and it's good for your

cholesterol

And the carbs are here

beer and spaghetti
for the marathon

you need to be ready

Your New Year's plan
it's about to start
when you get back

from WalMart


*****

Saturday, January 8, 2011

A Cowboy Soul

"It should be ok," the doctor said to the mother
"I admit it's unusual, but it won't give him trouble"
On the baby's face, with a red ochre tint
Was the small and faint outline of a horseshoe print

"He should be quite something, as he grows older"
He packed up his bags and then shrugged his shoulders
"I've got this feeling," he said and he pondered
This little one here, he could be a wonder

And then just before leaving, he stopped and came close
He looked at the horsehoe, there by his nose
a brand, an odd mark, an impression, tattoo
He smiled and he thought of the luck he'd accrued

"I'll be back here next month or over the winter,
and check back him then," he said, twisting his whiskers
he hopped in his carriage and with clicking and whacking
the horses feet struck the stones with a clacking

The mother squinted her eyes, looking real close
she gazed at the baby; what she wanted the most
was for him to be healthy, true, brave and safe
with eyes closed she whispered, "You'll always be Rafe."

And Rafe, as he grew, she adored and admired
and the marks on the wall climbed higher and higher
he grew out of his levis and snap buttoned wear
as fast as his mother could buy them each year

His interest in cowboys appearded from thin air;
he was drawn to the stables, the tack and the gear
and old leather boots that made his feet sore
that his mother had bought from a second hand store

He read tattered old versions of western town stories
of purple sage hills, war cries and gun glories
of driving the cattle and building the rails
cheap dime store books of cowboys and trails

And before long his mother sent him to school
to learn history and English, of mathmatical rules
to learn from the nuns at St. Mark's on the hill
but no rules or detention could make him sit still

He fought with the bulllies, they teased him and worse
they laughed at his jeans and pocket flap shirts
but he was an old soul, with no compromise
so he bested them all, most twice his size 

Sister Melinda wrote to his mother
she told her the trouble and great strain she was under
for keeping him there would be out of the question
it was impossible for him to keep up with confessions

His mother taught him at home then, until he was older

then her health faltered, "consumption," they told her
"You need a dry climate, the air high and clean"
So they moved out to Tuscon when Rafe was fifteen

In Arizona they settled, near the canyons and passes
and he worked on a ranch in between classes
Among tall green saguaro, red rock and high ridge
he felt his soul stir, and his horseshoe mark twinge

He learned more of horses and mastered the branding
Practiced his shooting on tin cans left standing
And he read and he read, the novels and stories
and lived cowboy life in canyon and quarry

Rafe's mother passed when he was nineteen
and they buried her there, in a sage swept ravine
They spoke from the bible, the psalms and the words
amidst the scrub and cholla, the lizards and birds

His mother at peace in air high and clear
the mark on his cheek was streaked with dried tears
With bandanna and hat, a roll for his bed
he drifted and camped, and he read and he read

He came to a town, San Pedro del Sol
a small border town, just north of Cristol
His mark twitched again, buzzing and warm
The sky clouded over, black with great storms

He got off his horse and walked through the streets
with nowhere to go and no one to meet
and the rain started down, plopping in dust
and on iron lamp posts, washed of their rust

His eye caught a sign, a faded old shingle
it said Last Stand Saloon like some old cowboy jingle
a storm refuge site, it was that and much more
Rafe's soul was drawn through old batwing doors 

The room spun and it twisted; he fast grabbed a chair
through blinking and blurring, a man standing there
He saw him yet didn't - but his soul knew this place
He squinted his eyes - his soul knew this face

The bearded old man smiled as he spoke,
"It's me, Smoke McClinton," and he spoke like a ghost
"You said you'd come back and I knew it was true,
I stayed here in San Pedro, waiting for you

"It's been fifty years of growing this stubble
but I can say now

it's been worth the trouble

"You fought off the Kiowa when they attacked
stood on high ground
as the others fell back

defiant and brave, with your rifle on shoulder
we remembered with pride, as we got older


Our last time together, we prayed to St. Thomas
as you were dying, you made me promise
to wait for you here, I don't know how long
that sooner or later you'd come back along

Smoke finished speaking, 
Rafe stood by his side
he hugged his friend then,
and the storm passed outside 
with thunder and lightning and skies dark and leaden

"Well I got here at last
and this feels just like heaven"

"The sheriff left these," said Smoke through the rain
Rafe rubbed his eyes, and he saw them again
There, an old Stetson, a gun and tin star
sat waiting for him on the end of the bar

Rafe picked up the gun and pinned on the star
redeemed with his karma

returned from afar

His horseshoe-like mark, which he'd had since the cradle
it shimmered and brightened, a gift from the angels

He turned to Smoke then
and Rafe surely felt it
Smoke faded away

and then he melted

*****

Monday, January 3, 2011

Nouvelle annee (guest post)

Doomsday seers delight
Velocity
propelling poisonous pablum
g5 accelerant

nuclear clock
ticks to midnight
Hyperbolically to the asymtote
Lika a g6

masses blissfully unaware
fringes hyper-alert
song remains the same

Will it repeat
Mayans it’s your turn
To find the end of the rainbow

Where time awaits to stand still
Like the rest stops
At the end of a poem

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Visions, nouvelle année

Red tide bullion bullies
beating the Reserves
fattened on the fiat
proverbial Chinese words

Puppet Pyongyang fingers
Pointing at the south
Bikini atoll fires
from the dragon's mouth

Sovereign tidal waves
ripples and rip tides
fiscal troughs and seismic sounds
tsunami fronts collide

Collective bargain gained
paychecks from the future
poorness for posterity
gifted by the boomers

Unworking and yet earning
stalled and satisfied
printing presses print for food
entitled genocide

Warming sun on artic poles
frozen ocean currents
gradients and differences
resistance of deterrents

Insatiable immigration
from third worlds of disrepair
unquelled, unstopped, unstoppable
the Moses of despair

Queens reprised from Anchorage
to Washington come calling
North slope oil and dead Caribou
not the least appalling

Kenyan and keynesian
Hawaiian one term doubters
archipelagos of bureaucracy
doomed by the withouters

To Madison and Franklin,
trapped in deep Potomac ice
Their tea cups cracked on frozen plates
with constitutional device

And Mayans and the long count
now one year away
whisper from the Yucutan
does it matter anyway?

*****

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

As December disappears

My soul asked for a story
about this long and tempest year
of the change and changing
as December disappears

But maybe best not worded
Said and yet not said
Typed with font that fades away
never to be read

With silver glass and diamond edge
moments glazed and jeweled
mirrors and reflections
joy and sadness pooled

Paired with a thesaurus
rhyming with white dress
Teenage hopes and college loves
one step from emptiness

Of garden dreams and picnic plates
plastic knives not meant for cutting
a geneology of apple trees
both lingering and rushing

Photographic blips on screens
electronic, captured swiftly
theatrics of the master plan
mapped out in the sixties

Of chemical experiments
breaking inner rings
one neutral, one electric
on nucleic wings

Promises and the promised
Feats real and envisioned
remembering and reminding
decisioned and divisioned

Of filters, fate, and purity
now needed for existence
the digital and the analog
numbers to be outdistanced

Violins and pianos
young strings rich and taut
the foundation of the orchestra
one performer and one taught

Barbie dolls and gypsy shows
with Starbucks in between
rainbow cones and pistachios
blonde and sweet sixteen

Of faux cowboys at Jackson hole
Boone and Buck and Starr
speckled trout and ice cold streams
recharged leyden jars

And the sisterhood, a tour de force
of storms and wind and thunder
our collection of raison d'ĂȘtre
a source of strength and wonder

And as this year passes by
iceberg deep and chill
we look ahead and breathe a breath
and thank God is with us still

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Bee Ridge Bees

Benjamin McFadden
was a man who loved bees
But they didn't like New Jersey
with six months of deep freeze

So he stayed in his room
out on cold highway three
and by flashlight and candle
read his beloved books on Bees

He read and he dreamed,
through storms and through snow
bare blankets and blizzards,
the grey and the cold

On days the sun showed
which was really hardly never
it was frosty and thin
like no sun whatever

If I stay here, he thought,
I might get psychotic
Or run in to my neighbors
and need antibiotics

I'll freeze like a mole,
if I don't get out of here soon
By horse or by cart,
by foot or balloon

He was sick of the slush,
grey snow and salt powder
A New England world
with naught but clam chowder

He searched all his books
seeking locations
A prisoner escape
to a new destination

He found an old drawing
by a scribe named Mercator
A map of the tropics,
down near the equator

The Spanish had found it
el oro and more
With tall ships they landed
on sandy-beached shores

He saw a town on the map
named for the daughter
Of Soto, the soldier
in turquoise blue waters

And bees, oh the bees,
feasting for hours
on grapefruits and oranges
and lemon citrus flowers

So he bundled his books
into a sack
Blew out his candle and looked toward the tracks
fled out the door and never came back

He jumped from the train
near I-seventy-five
and started his search
for bees and bee hives

Under El Sol,
Benjamin's condition
healed and improved
in the Bee expedition

He worked and he toiled
And learned from the farmers
Of queens and their workers
And Conquistador armor

On the palmetto
across the savannah
Benji McFadden
soaked his bandana

In scrub and in sawgrass
he baked and he steamed
And he scrimped and he saved
for his bee dream

Now, high on a ridge,
overlooking a lake
With citrus and scrub
and sky blue opaque

Stands Benjamin with boxes,
vertical and dripping
With sweet sticky honey,
which he soon will be shipping

Back to the north,
a reverse of his trip
Back on the rails,
squeaky and slick

A black iron beast
A snow pirate ship
Would transport his honey
All in one trip

But he would stay here,
up on Bee Ridge
With his books and his bees
And his bright honey tins

And he'd thank them all here
Calusas and Spanish
for holding this paradise
without which he'd vanish

Then, on the soft citrus breeze
in the place of his dreams
he'd sit and he'd listen
to his beloved Bee Ridge bees

*****

Gus

The man and his wife sat at a wooden table in their kitchen, looking out toward the road, past the white face cows and lean brown horses.  Their 1000 acre farm was just off highway 4, near Salem Heights and Laporte. 

Ocassionally, tractor trailers thundered by, rattling the mailbox at the end of the gravel driveway.  Under the mailbox was a white plastic newspaper holder, printed with the words, "Herald Argus."

The white farm house was streaked with Indiana soil, eroded by Indiana wind.  A white oak tree planted near the house generations ago sheltered it from the sun, spreading its limbs across the yard and up over the roof, fanning lobed leaves and creating dappled shadows on the small patch of grass just outside the window. 

"Gus," the farmer's wife asked, "you expecting someone?"  She pointed down the drive as a station wagon slowly pulled in.

"Nope.  Probably just turning around."

They didn't.  Their Plymouth kept coming up the driveway and stopped near the house, under the tree.  As the two inside watched, the visitors began unloading from the car.  They excitedly hurried toward the cows, who gazed at them curiously from behind the barbed wire.

Gus pushed his chair back and made his way out the metal screen door of the kitchen, which squeaked and slammed shut behind him.  He squinted out into the sunshine, his face taunt and bronzed, lined from country sun and winter winds.  He saw a young man headed toward the door, wearing a white short sleeve shirt and knit pants.  His hair was cropped short and he had a pipe in his hand.  It was my father.

"Hi there," Gus said.  "Can I help you?"

"Yes," said the man, introducing himself.  "You see, we're out here for the weekend at our cottage.  But my wife wanted the kids to see a real farm.  Well, we were driving by yours and thought maybe we'd ask if we could see it."  My father must have been confident Gus couldn't say no.

"I'm Gus," said the farmer, looking at the gathering of children near the heifers.  "I guess it would be okay if they looked around some, but they need to be careful near them cows." 

When we met Gus, he was as pure and undistilled as any farmer ever was.  His dusty jeans were the real thing, unlike the dark blue ones my mother bought for us at Sears.  His shirt was denim.  And his cap was John Deere, back when John Deere wasn't cool. 

That was the first of many trips to Gus's farm. 

Back then, Gus was larger than life.  His world, up close, was much bigger than what we had imagined.   Frightening at first but, when we got used to it, exciting.  And everywhere on his farm, the air smelled of manure, made in the pens and moved out to the fields. 

It was work on Gus's farm that was often threatened as the fate to be earned for various misdeeds.  "You'll spend the summer working on Gus's farm, is that what you want?"  If it was that bad, we'd wonder, why did we always stop there on vacation?
 
We must have outgrown the farm experience, because ours visits stopped at some point.  For years, on any country road, we would look for the familiar farm and argue over real versus imagined sightings.  All it took was a white frame house and an oak tree, and it was Gus's place.

Perhaps fate steered our station wagon into that driveway on highway 4.   But my parents pulled into it, drawn by the future.  It's as if they knew Gus would be there - and that he would become part of our family's story, whether he was ready or not. 

Those trips gave us the chance to get right up to the fence, close enough to the horses and cows to smell their breath and look into their eyes.  To be unafraid and amazed. 

****

Nobody gets too much Heaven no More

What if I told you That the best days are summer days – And that when I think of you, I remember  Pedaling down Longwood Drive, on our Schwi...