Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thanksgiving redux

In the Turquoise Pencil world, a strange summer has morphed into an impossible autumn.  Here, soap opera scripts are played out daily. 

The most recent plot developments have our cast of characters scattered across distant locations, and the family lens is ready to flip back and forth between venues like a Discovery Channel Storm Chaser reality series. 

Our characters are emerging from their home grown storm-chasing mobiles, breathlessly marveling at their narrow escape. 

Here, the Thanksgiving winds have blown the sky into a wispy and transparent cerulean blue.  If there are clouds, they can only be seen by squinting into the distance.  

Ahead, there are new adventures and different challenges, no less exhilirating and rich.

I think perhaps our Edwardian and Victorian holidays may be receding into the past.  We've started to blend old traditions with new ones.   The emerging traditions, for now, seem to be more diverse - an ecclectic cocktail of palm trees and Manhattan taxis, Minnesota lakes and Indian Reservations.   The Batman Park and the Gulf of Mexico intercoastal waterways.

It feels good.  I think I'm ready.


*****

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Pain

Across the street from the Loyola quadrangle, the familiar sounds from an endless procession of L trains could be heard even inside the classrooms.

The linked-up aluminum cars would brake and screech along the tracks and through the final turn before crawling and hissing into the Loyola station.  Echoes from almost inaudible announcements would bounce across the frozen pavement and against the campus buildings.

Even with a powdery new snowfall, it was a grey world – the platform, the trains, the lives.

At times, the trains seem suspended in the air just above the crumbling overpass. Ambulances would rush underneath, blaring and screaming, ricocheting north or south, destination heaven or hell. Against the broken curbs were a collection of trash and street sludge snow cones.

Beyond the stone buildings that bounded the campus like the walls of a keep, the city streets lurked. Faded billboards stalked Sheridan Road like zombies, with faceless ads about malt liquors or lawyers or paternity. And just a short walk from the holy cathedral of the Madonna, it was too dangerous to be alone, especially at night.

Inside the protected quadrangle, we didn't feel the threats or the taunts of the city.   Instead, we learned of neuroses.

The revelation was in theology (an appropriate place), which was required coursework when studying for the Jesuits.  The revelation was that a normal person is really not normal at all.  If they seem normal - and happy - then they are undoubtedly and successfully neurotic.  They have created a perception of reality that helps them to cope.  They hear sirens but can't feel the trauma. See the billboards but block the messages.

This mental faculty keeps us sane.  It’s like a vestigial sort of mental miracle.  On a daily basis, it softens the sharper edges of reality.  But when life’s pain becomes intense, it can carry us all by itself.  Without it, we might be unable to continue the lives we thought we had.  Without it, we might find ourselves atop a bridge and leaning out - with pain too great to bear.

Perhaps the Jesuits, at times, disguised this miraculous faculty as a Trojan Horse. 

But they know it's faith.  It's God, helping our souls carry burdens too heavy for us to lift by ourselves.

Maybe one day, you'll be riding the L train, feeling a pain you believe has changed you forever.  Hold on tightly as the train screeches and swerves, and nearly throws you from your seat. When the wheels grind to a halt, hurry off the train, down the stairs and across the street.

Step into the quadrangle.

Breathe deeply and feel the gentle snowflakes fall around you.  Listen to the muted sounds of the train as it fades into the distance.  Follow the warm pools of light that fall beneath the familiar buildings.  Feel the comfort of walking with other students toward your dorm and your friends and the life you have known.

Then, look across campus, toward the eaves of the church of the Madonna. 

Feel the pain fade.


*****

Friday, November 19, 2010

A Life Story

In our house on Esmond Street, my mother could be heard calling up the stairs, “Your father’s not going; he’s working on his book today.”

His book. My mother proudly told us that it was going to be a great work of literature, that it would make him rightfully famous. But knowing its ostensible title, the book drew little interest or awe from the group of us, preparing to go to church or the beach or the S&H greenstamps store.

We would leave my father standing in the doorway, his pipe clenched in his teeth and a box of papers under his arm.  A sacrifice for the book.

In the 1960’s, my father could have used the Olivetti from his office for the project, but he wasn’t a typist - he was an artist.  He used fountain pens and bics, legal pads and plain white paper.  

There on Esmond, work on the book had just begun, so we often saw him carrying his box of papers, busy and intent and energetic. Young, tall, and thin.  Unburdened and eagerly anticipating his future as an author and historian.

The box with the loose pages could be found in his studio, among other flotsam and jetsam carried along on his creative river of talent; oil pallettes and canvases, brilliant pools of watercolors drying in plastic pans, and delicately drawn outlines of Chicago homes waiting for the watery touch of his brush. 

His studio resonated with music and smell of Bond Street pipe tobacco.  Visiting his studio, we watched from playpens and highchairs, stools and swing-o-matics. 

We moved from Esmond Street to a tiny brick house on Longwood Drive in Blue Island, where work progressed.  Pipe smoke and inappropriately loud operatic music drifted up from the basement; certain clues that Chicago’s sepia history of barons and brothels and business tycoons was being transcribed.

As he penned those pages in the cramped basement, he was sifting through the rubble of a house on Prairie Avenue, or walking up a grand mahogany staircase with his friend and mentor, whom he told us was part of Lord Carnarvon’s excavation of King Tut’s tomb. John McCormack and Arthur Rubenstein deafened the sound of the babies crying upstairs. It must have seemed like heaven.

We lived in the Blue Island house during the Viet Nam war.  My mother would occasionally have “Viet Nam Dinner” nights for the children.  They featured only rice, odd vegetables, and water. 

We hated it then, but see if differently today.  Now with admiration.  Because now we know of the days my father would come home after selling just a few art supplies or hand-sketched note cards in his gallery.   We’d eat the budget-saving Viet Nam dinners and then my father would head downstairs to work on his book.

The book that would make him famous.

Then, during those tumultuous Blue Island years, history happened.  Men landed on the moon. Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy were shot.  Riots erupted across the city, and Daley’s canary blue police served up justice as the fires burned.  And the basement flooded.

Amid the floating boxes and submerged furniture, the pages of the book were saved. I remember seeing a box of rippled and streaked paper and wondering if the book project would survive.  Evidently it did.

Shortly after the flood, we moved into a new house and a new period in our lives. The house was not unlike those featured in the unfinished book. It was a peeling and dilapidated old Victorian, with broken pipes and windows. The high-ceiling rooms had piles of leaves from the oak trees that towered over its three stories. And it seemed like a perfect place to work on the book.  In this new space, our lives felt changed.  Our minds seemed to expand.

And we grew.  Teenagers started appearing.  Braces and new cars were needed.  Our friends gathered in the large kitchen in the house on Prospect Avenue, filling the place with noise and laughter and chaos. We were all swept into our own lives and personal dramas.

We had temporarily forgotten the image of my father standing by the door in our Esmond house, youthful and hopeful, clutching his box of paper.  For the moment, we'd forgotten those hand-written pages, water stained from the flood.

I lost track of the book.

But my father must have kept writing it.

He must have, because today his book, “Chicago's Old Homes - Legends and Lore,” is in its third edition from McGraw Hill.  It’s been sold on Amazon.com and E-Bay.  And I once saw it in a Barnes and Noble bookstore in Florida.

Maybe it didn’t make him a famous author. 

But in my eyes, he acheived fame from another work, yet unpublished but even longer in the making.

Upon endless pages, he has drawn the indelible characters of our family.  He penned each of us imperfectly and yet grandly.  Our minds as big and open and irrational as moving into a house filled with leaves and racoons.  Our souls bathed in the artistic and creative process. 

Thus we became philosophers and scientists, thinkers and writers, musicians and artists.

For this, my father shares the byline.

And now, we are busy writing our own books.

Thanks dad.


********

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